


drabbles

by orphan_account



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cussing, Drabbles, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-06-09 00:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 4,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6882577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>drabbles requested by various users and anons on tumblr</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**baz wearing shorts.**

Simon remembered only a few details from last night. The party, the alcohol, a random, and extremely hot, aristocratic-looking linguistics major. Baz. His name was Baz. 

Simon rolled over in the bed. It was too soft, too silky, to be his own. He raised his head from the pillow, ignoring his throbbing headache, when he saw a glass of water and tylenol on the nightstand. Reaching for the medication, his eyes roamed around the unfamiliar room for a few moments, taking it in.

Then,  _ then _ , he saw Baz. Baz wearing shorts. Miles of leg, tanned and reddish gold leg.  _ Unbelievably  _ attractive.

“ _ Holy fuck. _ ”

Simon started to remember where he was, and why he was here.


	2. Chapter 2

**pancake, kinky, dragon**

It was three am, and Simon wanted pancakes. He rolled out of Baz’s arms, catching himself before he fell off the bed. Baz moved to pull him closer again, but Simon stood out of reach. 

“What are you doing, Simon? Come back to bed,” Baz said in a sleepy voice.

“I’m hungry. I’m making pancakes.”

“It’s three am, love.”

“I don’t care.”

Baz let out a sigh. “Fine. But I’m not letting you cook with those dragon wings. I will do it.”

Simon smiled, but he said, “No, you don’t have to get up, it’s fine.”

Baz eyed him. “You need supervision around fire and sharp objects.”

Simon giggled, still half asleep. “Kinky.”

Baz looked at him. “That literally makes no sense.”

Simon shrugged, padding off to the kitchen.


	3. Chapter 3

**eurovision. salt and vinegar crisps. Domestic.**

We’re watching Eurovision on the living room television with Penny. After a few months, it’s safe to say I have gotten used to the domestic life. No more foster homes, no more long summers waiting to return to Watford. A stable house, a stable family, a stable boyfriend.

I still smile to myself whenever I think of it. Baz Pitch, the boy who would eat salt and vinegar crisps and leave the crumbs on my bed, is my  _ boyfriend _ . 

After six month together, and eight years as roommates, I know now that I was in love with him that night before Christmas. And I still am. That won’t change.


	4. Chapter 4

**cold, chocolate, food**

The chocolate ice cream from the freezer was cold, colder than Baz’s hands. 

Another tear slipped from Simon’s eyes, splattering on the grey counter top. He didn’t know if he would ever feel Baz’s hands again. He didn’t know if he would ever feel  _ Baz _ again.

Three weeks of waiting, three weeks of searching, three weeks of  _ nothing _ . Simon couldn’t believe that Baz was really gone, but he had no other option. Instead, he lost himself in food. So much food.

A sudden sound from the entryway startled Simon out of his daze. He looked up, expecting Penny to come trudging into the apartment with no news on Baz’s kidnapping. 

The figure in the door was taller than Penny, though, and Simon tensed. The man slumped into the room, holding onto the doorframe.

_ Baz _ .

Covered in bruises, a broken nose, and a knife wound.

_ Baz _ .


	5. Chapter 5

**Kangaroo, sniffle, laptop**

Simon sniffled. The zoo was his favorite place to go during the summer, and the kangaroo exhibit was his absolute favorite.

But now it was closed. 

He tugged on his father’s sleeve, motioning to the empty exhibit. Davy wasn’t concerned; he was more engrossed in reptile exhibit full of snakes and lizards.

Simon felt crestfallen. He approached a man sitting at a table with a laptop and a name tag with the zoo’s logo.

“What happened to the kangaroos?”

The man looked up, saw Simon’s forlorn face, and gave him a sad smile. “They were brought back to Australia. This is a rehabilitation zoo. They didn’t need to stay here anymore.”

Simon didn’t really understand what that meant; he just knew they were gone. He leaned against the railing of the empty exhibit, looking at the hills and small drinking pond.

He felt a presence at his side.

“Did you see the new bird exhibit? They got another eagle,” said an excited voice. Simon looked over and saw a boy with golden-red skin, black hair, and green-grey eyes, about seven years old (his age).

“Really?” Simon perked up immediately. 

“Yeah! I’ll show you.”

And Simon followed his new friend to the eagle exhibit.


	6. Chapter 6

**Stars, sex, blood**

The stars were visible through the dorm window. A shaft of moonlight illuminated a head of curly golden hair on the far side of the room. Like sunlight at night.

Baz gazed sullenly at the figure curled towards him, on a separate bed, and a separate world. He thought about the things he could do if he wasn’t so far away from Simon. He thought about friendships, relationships, sex. 

Nothing attainable.

Blood, now that was something Baz could control. He could drink it, and he could make someone bleed. He could make  _ Simon  _ bleed. He had to make Simon bleed.

But if Simon bled, then he bled, and they would both die, in different senses of the world.

Simon would physically bleed out, whether through a hole in his neck, or a spell that would rip him apart, or a sword through the stomach. 

Baz would bleed internally. Not actually bleeding internally, though; that was a more painless option.

No, he would feel the already fading life leech out of him, guilt pooling in his gut, heartache in his chest, numbness in his brain. He already felt some of these things while Simon was alive, but if Simon was  _ dead _ , they would be all he ever felt again.


	7. Chapter 7

**the morning after**

Pillows and blankets. A heavy weight on his side. A head resting on his chest.

_ Where is my shirt? _

_ Where are my pants? _

_ Where the fuck am I? _

Baz looked around the room. It was familiar; it was their dorm.

Confusion.

_ Where the fuck is Simon? What the fuck happened? _

He glanced down at the body resting against him. Half asleep, he still hadn’t even processed why someone else was in bed with him, let alone who it was.

Golden curls and freckled skin. Rustling sheets and an arm wrapped around his back. Blue eyes that slowly slid open.

A soft voice. A lazy smile.

“I suppose this is the morning after?” 


	8. Chapter 8

**stop, okay, thanks (in that order)**

I only hear a few words come out of his mouth before I decide I hate him in first year.

“Stop being such a twat! Just shake my hand!”

I only hear a few words come out of his mouth before I decide I’m in love with him in sixth year.

“Okay, I’ll keep my stuff on my side of the room.”

I only hear a few words come out of his mouth before I decide I want to marry him after eighth year.

“Thank, Baz. For everything.”


	9. Chapter 9

**bat, anathema, stars**

Moonlight edges into the room through the crack in the window shades. A bat sits outside on the stone. If Baz had known, he would have laughed; the irony was too much.

Simon is having another nightmare, so of course Baz can’t sleep. Not when Simon Snow is whimpering three feet away, and Baz can do absolutely, positively nothing about it.

It takes him two hours before he finally gets fed up, sliding out of bed to wake Snow up. He places his hand roughly against Snow’s shoulder, shaking it. Simon barely stirs; he simply cowers further into the covers.

Baz removes his hand from Simon’s shoulder and grabs his bare arm, squeezing slightly. Simon’s eyes slowly open, but when he sees Baz, he panics, because he still feels like he is in his nightmare, where Baz kills him, or he kills Baz, and he just can’t figure out why it hurts so much.

Baz feels Simon’s magic pulse under his skin, rising to the surface. He doesn’t have the common sense to draw away; Simon’s blue eyes stare at him intently, and he can’t move.

A long drawn out silence, where nothing and everything passes between their gazes.

Baz feels the scratchy, burning magic finally reach the surface, where he expects it to explode into the air, leaving him blown back against the wall.

Instead, he feels the magic enter his skin, like a clean current of electricity, washing through his tired veins. He feels alive, more alive than he’s felt in years.

Simon realizes what’s happening, where his magic is going, but before he can pull back, Baz looks at the shaft of moonlight in the room and thinks of the stars, and suddenly they are surrounded by bright balls of gaseous light. 

Close enough to feel, but far enough for safety. 

(Like sleeping in the same dorm as Simon Snow every single night.)

(Like every time Baz is around Simon.)

(Because being drunk on his magic, his presence, is intoxicating, but getting too close would be fatal.)


	10. Chapter 10

**cat, brick, plate**

I carry the plate of scones to the couch, the brick floor cold beneath my bare feet. Baz sits, gazing at the television. He’s wearing my ratty old pajamas; he could wear anything and still look gorgeous.

I fall onto the cushion beside him, resting the plate on my lap. Baz looks over at the scones and laughs.

“How many scones are you going to eat, Simon? Seven?”

I frown at him. “They’re for you, too.”

A pause. “Oh.” He seems taken aback that I would do something nice for him (we’re still getting through the awkward phase of “I’m sorry I tried to kill you so many times hopefully you still want to be my boyfriend) (I think it goes both ways).

I smile at him. “Want one?”

He glances at me sheepishly. “Sure.”

We sit in comfortable silence, watching Penny’s new cat bat at the figures on the television screen.


	11. Chapter 11

**banana, doctor, undies**

In year one, Simon enters a prestigious public school. His parents can barely pay the expensive tuition, but somehow they manage. Simon doesn’t like school; no one is particularly mean to him, but no one is nice, either. Some kids make fun of his speech impediment.

In year six, Simon switches to private school. His parents can no longer pay the tuition after his doctor diagnoses him with leukemia. School is becoming an afterthought as he is getting sicker, anyway.

In year nine, Simon doesn’t go to school anymore. He stays in the hospital all year, taking online classes to get a diploma.

In year ten, Simon endures chemotherapy. It doesn’t work the first time, but he holds onto hope.

In year eleven, the first signs of effective chemotherapy show. Simon can barely breathe through the anticipation and desperation clogging his mind.

In year twelve, Simon finally leaves the hospital. The cancer has been gone for a year; he’s safe. Finally, he’s safe.

In his first year at university, Simon lives the life he was always meant to live. He goes to football games, he gets drunk at parties and sprints through the campus in undies covered in bananas, and he meets his best friend, Penelope.

In his second year at university, Simon meets his new roommate. He doesn’t like him very much at first.

In his third year at university, Simon falls in love with his horrible, gorgeous, arrogant, intelligent, amazing roommate. And everything has fallen into place.


	12. Chapter 12

**infant, defenestrate, creativity**

“Just, think of a different plan! Use some of your creativity you try to put to good use; there has to be a better way!” Lucy exclaims, glancing at the child wrapped in a blanket on the bed.

“I have thought about this for months; it is the only way,” Davy replies, sitting in a chair near the bed.

“He’s just an infant, Davy!” Lucy paces the room, glowering at the floor. “You can’t seriously be expecting me to let you do this, right?”

Davy gives her a sad, almost pitying look. “Lucy, it’s for the good of the World of Mages. Simon has to be trained. He has to learn to fight. He has to do it alone.”

Lucy is fuming. “I’m not letting you defenestrate our child! He has a perfectly good family here, at home. It’s not his responsibility to save the world alone! The mages can wait! Let him grow up,  _ here _ ,” she says, motioning around the room, her voice breaking.

Davy looks slightly angry now. “Lucy, he’s going into the orphanage system, and my decision is final.”

She rips her eyes from his face, fists trembling and tears streaming slowly over her cheeks.

“Don’t expect me to be okay with this.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> friends from the beginning (year one)

the moat rippled in front of them. they were sprawled next to each other on the ground, facing the inner gates and lazily picnicking on the Great Lawn.  
“simon?” baz asked hesitantly.  
“yeah?” he replied, turning his head toward baz.  
“what do you think would have happened if we had been enemies? if we hadnt become friends first year?” baz looked worried, and slightly anxious.  
simon looked thoughtful. they had been friends for two years now, and not once had simon considered the alternative; that they could have hated each other. only in another universe, he thought to himself.  
“im sure, in the end, we would have been friends. right?” simon asked, grinning at baz, whose doubtful expression was disappearing from his face.  
“yeah. I guess so.”

* * *

they were sitting, legs crossed, their backs leaning against each other. the snow was collecting on the window sill, and they breathed the frigid air, slow and steady.  
“who do you want to go with to the dance?” simon asked. he wanted to know who the lucky girl would be, the lucky girl who would go with baz to the end of term dance. because, obviously, no one would turn baz down.  
you, baz thought. “I dont know,” baz replied, shaking his head against simons and ruffling their hair.  
“who do you want to go with?” baz inquired a few minutes later. he wanted to know the fortunate girl who would go to the end of term ball with simon. because no one would turn simon down.  
you, simon thought. “I dont know,” simon answered, and he scooted away to sit on his bed, watching as baz got up and made his way toward the bathroom.  
-  
three buildings over, penny and agatha were laughing in the common room, because their friends were so oblivious about each others feelings. the entire school knew. and the entire school was rooting for them.


	14. Chapter 14

simons voice was cracking. it was the most hilarious sound baz had ever heard.  
baz didnt go through puberty like most normal teenage boys, but, then again, baz wasnt very normal at all.  
his voice didn’t crack like simons did, and as endearing as the sound was, baz was forced to make fun of simon for it. because that was his job, being the evil vampire nemesis with gorgeous hair and bad intentions.  
simon was also getting taller. baz was still taller, of course, but simon was catching up. if baz was daring enough, he could kiss the top of snows forehead in a hug; the heights were just right.  
simon was broader than baz. simon had always been broader than baz; he was narrow and lithe, while simon was wide and strong. simons strength was more grown up now, though, more manly and less cumbersome.  
simons face was more mature, too. it had sharpened and lost its childhood roundness, and his eyes sparkled with more intensity than baz had thought possible. baz looked just as pale and refined as he always had.  
baz kept noticing little transformations, and with each one, he fell deeper and deeper in love.

* * *

bazs voice never cracked, and it drove simon crazy. because his voice always cracked, and baz never let it go.  
baz didnt have any awkward voice cracks, baz didnt have any acne, and baz basically had nothing wrong with him; simon loathed him for it.  
baz was still taller, and leaner, but now he was slightly muscled, in contrast to simons relative bulk. bazs features were sharp as always, and refined, but he looked more grown up, more mature.  
he had the pale skin of a vampire, as simon assumed he was one by now. underneath the alabaster skin, though, simon could see hints of a dark olive, a gorgeous color. simon envied bazs perfect skin.  
baz had a charming smile, even though it was usually fake. simons smile was too big for his face, and he was jealous of how effortless baz made his beauty look.  
simon noticed all of these changes, and each and every one made him hate baz a bit more than before.


	15. Chapter 15

**adopting**

“Simon, you cant just walk into an orphanage and adopt a kid, theres paperwork involved.”  
I shoved baz aside, lightly of course, and continued strolling towards the doors of the dumpy old orphanage. “Im adopting a kid, baz. I want a kid.”  
He looked at me sympathetically. “I know you want kids, simon, and im sorry we cant have our own, but this seems hasty.”  
I shot him back a glance and walked faster, weaving through the strangers walking along the street.  
I felt someone grab my shoulder. Baz yanked me into an alley right next to the orphanage, and he pushed me against the wall, arms on both sides of my head.  
“Simon, look at me.”  
I cautiously moved my eyes up, trying not to give away the emotions I was feeling.  
“If you don’t want kids with me, then-”  
“You bloody git, of course I want kids with you,” he replied, gazing intently at me.  
“I think you are being too quick with this, though. You see one baby crib, and now you want to adopt one. Thats not how it works.”  
He continued analyzing my face, and then he leaned in closer.  
“Is it because of the orphanage? You dont want anyone else to grow up in one like you did.” He paused when he saw the look on my face. He drew closer, our noses brushing.  
“Look, I know you feel passionately about this, but we need to slow down. Weve only been married for two months. Kids can wait.”  
I looked him in the eyes. “Baz, I, I just want a family with you. thats all I want.”  
“believe me snow, I feel the same. but I think we should wait a bit longer. we can apply when were ready.”  
My eyes were burning his, and I was about to continue arguing, but I saw thr tired look in his eyes and I leaned forward, giving him a quick kiss instead.   
“Another time, then.”


	16. Chapter 16

**baz and the jeans**

“Snow.”  
“What, Baz.”  
“Why do you have ‘baz and the jeans’ scribbled on your notebook.”  
“Well, I- well, theyre a band.”  
“Oh really?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Show me an album.”  
“Um, I don’t have one with me at the moment.”  
“Then show me some merchandise.”  
“Baz, I don’t exactly have a home. Let alone time to buy band merch.”  
“Do you have any proof that such a band exists.”  
“I suppose not.”  
“….. Snow, just tell me why you have my name scribbled in your notebook next to an article of clothing you have never seen me wear.”  
“I don’t know, I was just wondering what it would look like. You. Wearing jeans.”  
“That is the weirdest thing I have ever heard.”  
“Can we please just forget about this?”  
“You think im gonna let you forget this? Do you even know me, Snow?“  
“Of course I do, but, can we, please, just forget this happened?”  
“Sure. whatever, Snow.”


	17. Chapter 17

**a letter**

simon and baz have been together for 5 years, and they are going through all their stuff, and simon finds a box of baz’s old watford memories and in it he finds a note, crumbled up but still legible, and baz is like “no, dont read that!” but simon reads it anyway and it says  
—–  
dear simon,  
I know you hate me. trust me, you’ve made it very obvious.   
despite after all these years, me trying to kill you (though if I really wanted to you’d be dead by now) and you trying to stop me, I somehow managed to make it through.  
I didn’t just make it through, though.  
I accidentally fell in love with you.  
yes, I know you hate me, and this will disgust you, but I had to tell you before I left.   
I’m not coming back eighth year. it’s optional, anyway, but I can’t bear to see you again when I love you so much and you like me so little.  
so you’ll never have to see my face again. I can at least promise you that.  
I’m sorry it came to this. I’m sorry I fell in love.  
signed,  
baz  
(no this is not a trick, simon)  
——  
and simon goes completely mental like “WHAT YOU WERE GOING TO LEAVE, BUT I, YOU WERE GOING TO LEAVE ME AND-” but baz cuts him off and says “I was going to leave that on your bed the last day of seventh year, but then you disappeared, teleported to the humdrum, and I wasnt prepared to never see you again, I hadnt gotten my final goodbye in words, so I stayed.” and simon is in tears bc he’s so glad baz stayed bc they ended up together eighth year and he just hugs baz and says,  
“i love you, baz. I never hated you, I was just afraid of you. because I loved you. and im so glad you didnt leave.”


	18. Chapter 18

**"Wanna bet?"**

“You’re not going to do it, Snow. I don’t believe you.”

Simon smiled mischievously at him. “Wanna bet?”

Baz considered his options. If Simon won, if he really did try to catch a merewolf, Baz would probably only lose a few pounds. It’s not like he didn’t have plenty of money to spare.

Baz grinned. “Yes. Five pounds says you can’t catch one.”

Simon pulled out his wand, glancing at the dark figures circling in the moat below. “And if I win? What do I get?”

Baz shrugged. “I don’t know. Name something.”

Simon thought for a moment before turning back to Baz. “If-” He was stumbling over his words, blushing profusely.

“What?” Baz prompted.

Simon hesitated then took a deep breath in. “If I win, I get to kiss you.”

Baz’s eyes widened in surprise. And delight. He couldn’t tell if Simon was joking (he _really_  hoped Simon wasn’t joking), but before he could say anything, Simon jumped over the bridge, onto a boat floating below (they had accidentally let it drift out from shore, and somewhere along the line a bet had come about).

Baz watched Simon struggle to find his footing on the wobbling boat, then proceed to cast a few spells, trying to put one of the merewolves under his control. This only seemed to anger them; they began to knock into the boat, and Simon almost fell into the murky water a few times. Baz was gazing at Simon intently, but once he realized he was in actual danger, he pulled his own wand out and cast a spell to grab Simon’s wrist with a rope and tug him back up to the bridge.

Simon pulled himself over the railing and collapsed on the stone ground, panting. “That was more difficult than I thought.”

Baz laughed. “It looks like I won.” 

He wasn’t sure if they were going to talk about what Simon had said, but Simon took care of it for him.

“Can I still have that kiss?”

Baz paused. “Wait, you weren’t kidding?”

Simon turned beet red, his ears the color of the red ties some upper years wore. “No, I mean-”

“It’s fine, Simon. The feeling is mutual.”

Now Simon seemed surprised. “What?”

Baz rolled his eyes. “Of course I want to kiss you, you git. I’ve wanted to for about two years.”

Simon spluttered. “Wh-what?”

Baz leaned down towards Simon, now pushed up into a sitting position. “Yeah.”

And he kissed him.


	19. Chapter 19

“I don’t think you realize how crazy you make me,” Simon whispered, running fingers through Baz’s hair.

Simon’s heart was beating at a million miles and hour. He was kissing Baz. He was kissing _Baz._ He was whispering things in Baz’s ear. They were _kissing_.

“I’m surprised you never realized how crazy I was for you,” Baz chuckled, gazing at Simon lovingly, adoringly. Simon had never seen a look like that in Baz’s eyes, let alone directed at _him_.

“I’m just really oblivious.”

Baz rolled his eyes. “Trust me, Snow, I know.”

“It’s Simon.”

“What?” Baz gave him a questioning look.

“You called me Simon before. Can you do it again?”

Baz hesitated for a moment, like saying Simon’s first name would mean too much, would destroy certain boundaries that had always existed. 

“Sure.” A pause. 

“Simon.”

Simon leaned down and kissed Baz again. He never wanted to stop.

 

A moment later, Simon was springing up into a sitting position, in his bed, alone.

“What the _FUCK”_

 


	20. Chapter 20

Baz wasn’t anticipating his sheer lack of control. He always had some semblance of restraint, especially around Simon. He had always thought this would hold true, in the impossible fantasy that Simon ever return the feelings Baz so desperately tried to hide.

But now that fantasy wasn’t a fantasy anymore, and Baz’s teeth were tearing through a pillow, and his hands were balled in fists, and his control was slipping.

Simon smiled against his stomach, his hands gripping Baz’s sides. Baz raked his hands through Simon’s hair, trying to suppress a groan. He was unsuccessful.

Simon looked up at him. “You know, you can make noise, right? Penny won’t be home for hours,” he said, returning his mouth the hollow space just above Baz’s hipbone. Baz breathed out, a rough gust of air as his chest fully deflated.

“That’s- that’s not the, ugh,  _ point _ .” He was stumbling over his words.

Simon slid his fingers into Baz’s hands, moving so he was straddling Baz’s stomach, pressing their hands into the mattress above Baz’s head.

“What’s wrong?”

Baz averted his eyes. “I’ve never done this before,” he said.

Simon laughed. “Baz, trust me, I haven’t either.”

Baz seemed surprised. “You never-” Simon shook his head. “With Agatha?”

“Nope.”

Baz breathed a sigh of relief. He had always assumed; sometimes it was nice to be wrong.

“That’s still not the main problem, though, is it?” Simon asked him.

Baz met Simon’s eyes. “I- I don’t like to let go.” Simon gave him a quizzical look.

“I mean, I had to love you in secret for years. It’s a hard habit to break.”

Realization dawned on Simon’s face, and he smiled, bringing his mouth down to kiss Baz again, slowly, to assure him  _ this is real _ , this isn’t a dream either of them are going to wake up from.

Simon wasn’t always great with words, but he could do other things with his mouth. Things that had Baz making more noise than Simon had ever heard from him; it was satisfying, he had to admit.


End file.
